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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

BEYOND


 
 
God knocked at my door once again.

"Lord what did you, bring today?'', I asked.
"The dish which i am going to serve you is spicy and bitter... Unchecked amount of sweet and taste will spoil your system''.
Now i know that all the sunshine will only make a desert. Sometimes it is the  medicine that helps than ice creams do.

By frequently giving darkening experiences God shapes your destiny and helps you to be more mature.
 Sometimes God dares to leave you alone even to the extent of sanctioning you to manage without Him.
 
 

 

Friday, March 7, 2014

HE WENT OUT TO THE DARK SAYING NOTHING.



It was almost ten years ago that he made his first visit. I as a student at malankara seminary then. Life was not that eventful like these days.  I saw him like any other ordinary beggar who had been coming there expecting something for their sustenance . What stroked me with a second look was he had a semblance to one whom I kept so close to my heart. He had something which kept on telling me that he was more than a beggar.
I asked him why he came. He told me two needs. His glasses are broken hence he needed a new pair of glasses and some money to buy lottery tickets. He told me he used to sell lottery tickets but now he is not in position to buy them. We had enough fund to meet both needs and he went peacefully with tears in his eyes.
The second visit was in the next year and I was about to complete mu priestly formation. I told  him that you might not see me when you come here next time. He asked for my contact number but I did not have any personal number then. Wherever you go once in an year I will come to see you, told he and went away. By then I got it very well that he had no family nor children and he was coming out from the streets.
I started my priestly ministry in a remote village and after few months it was a great surprise for me to see him in the place where I lived. To the question ho did he manage to locate me I did not get any answer but he simply laughed and asked for some water.
One more time he came.  I saw him some more aged and wrinkled and was struggling to walk. He said he is in an old age home and it is with great struggle that he could come this time. He said he would not stay there  any longer that the place lacked clean air. He stayed for some time and when he was about to go I wished him to stay back. He refused and said, I will come whenever I want to meet you father.
Often we think that poor people come to visit us always for money. But to me this old man was of different genus. He accepted money only if he was in need of money. Often when I offer money he used to tell, do you think I come for money, father?
That was the last visit.
Years rolled by and now whenever the calling bell rings I pray that I would be he who is standing at the threshold. Still I wait. But never he came. I don't know whether he is alive.
Actually I don't know anything about him . 

Thursday, March 6, 2014

EGO TRAP

Man seems  to be capable of doing anything except subduing one's ego. Ego satisfaction becomes the underlying reality behind every human act , no matter whether it is virtue or vice. Even the apparently  deeds of charity are born out of one's subconscious desire to be different from others. Don't think how cynic I am. This is the truest self analysis that one can make. To be spiritual simply means to get out of those natural tendency. To be spiritual means to get behind and stand at the last row, unidentified and unrecognised., silent and submissive. Love you.